The Self-Improver

Self Improvement

2012 – The Year Ahead

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One week down, 51 more to go.

I was never one to make resolutions. I think the notion of resolutions is kind of a farce. Why do I need the New Year to force me to work towards a goal? I mean, whether I wake up to another day in the middle of the year, or the first of the year, every new day brings the chance to work towards something. ANYTHING. I certainly have goals, and this year is no exception. If I accomplish them, it’d be great. If not, it’s okay. I believe that like so many things in life, it’s the journey, rather than the destination, that matters the most. Below are my goals for the year:

Professional:
–       Get into graduate school.
–       Get published in an academic journal.
–       Pass the TOCFL Master or HSK Level 5.
–       Get a policy or IR-related job or internship, preferably in DC.

Personal:
–       Learn to code.
–       Run a half-marathon.
–       Blog at least once a week.
–       Go to mass at least once a month.

2011 in Review

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The past year was definitely one to remember.

January:
Hope. For the past five years I’ve spent the holiday season back in Los Angeles. When I left for LA in December, I was disappointed that I wasn’t staying indefinitely. Even though I had been in Washington for already 6 months, I still had a tough time adjusting to life there. When I returned to Washington in January, I promised myself that I wasn’t going to let anything stop me from living a better life – no fears, no regrets, no doubts, no haters.

February:
Focused. Of the three aspects of my life that I set out to improve (spiritual, professional, and social), I recall particularly focusing on my life at work. Armed with what I had learnt the previous month, I was making strides for the first time, at least I felt, towards building up a positive name for myself at the firm. Additionally, I got involved with a pro-bono project relating to social entrepreneurship through my firm. My involvement with Ashoka fueled my curiosity to learn more about the field.

March:
Determined. I remember messing up a lot on the job during this month. Regardless, I was determined to work through these mistakes and prove that I was indeed not only a competent, but also core asset to my team. My family came to visit the east coast as well during this month. Our weekend trip up to NYC, the first time in over a year that I had gone up to the city, was a much-welcomed mini-vacation.

April:
Perseverance. Four months into the year and I was already loosing steam in achieving my goals for a happier life in Washington. I knew that patience was a virtue, but I found it harder to keep trying to improve my personal and professional lives without seeing any tangible outcomes. In an effort to remind me to stay focused on my goals, I created this blog, to hold myself accountable. I also took a class at the Alliance Francaise; however, I stopped because it was moving way too slowly. After studying Chinese, I realized that despite its reputation as one of the more difficult of the Romance languages, a class was unnecessary to learn French.

May:
A turning point. I remember this month being very fun, from a social perspective. For the first time, in a long while, I was actually doing things outside of work on a regular basis. Meeting new people, going to new places, hanging out. I almost imagined that this was what life should’ve been like back in college, before I let my insecurities get the better of me. I also did my first volunteer shift for the Freer Sackler through their summer-drinks series entitled, “Asia After Dark.” I also attended my first (and only) “Team in Training” event to prepare for the Philadelphia Marathon at the end of the year.

June:
Appreciation. I made a year living in Washington this month. Professional life was going well and social life was finally developing. For the first time in a long while, I really just couldn’t believe how far my circumstances had changed over the past year. This sensation and feeling of appreciation was undoubtedly the best birthday present I could’ve asked for.

July:
Enjoyment. Professional life had not changed much. Outside of work I continued to fuel my renewed interests in international relations. I volunteered at the triennial Society of International Development’s World Congress, where I had the chance to meet some great people with similar interests, and learned the affect of China’s continued economic rise has had on reshaping the international development community. This month was also a month of firsts

August:
Ambivalence. From a professional perspective, I felt like I was in a state of suspension. Despite being at the company for over a year, and already two months since the last big project ended, I wasn’t getting staffed on any formal, long-term project; primarily ad-hoc stuff. I wasn’t growing. However, outside of work, life continued to unfold for the better. After snagging a $550 roundtrip ticket from the East Coast to Hawaii, I finally went home (the original-home) for the first time in over two years, spending 10 days in Hawaii.

September:
Contemplation. I continued my Hawaii vacation into September by doing a double-back flight from Hawaii ? Dallas ? Reagan National; Dulles ? Los Angeles, all in one day, for my trip to Los Angeles. I usually tend to go back at least 3-5 times a year, so my trip back to LA, the first of the year, felt refreshing. Back in DC, as I considered my future career goals, I vowed to once again improve the situation before considering alternatives.

October:
Afraid. Even if I was going abroad to fulfill a goal of mine, I still found the notion of unemployment, particularly given the current economic climate, completely unfeasible and utterly senseless. Although I was prepared financially to make the jump, I was afraid of the unknown. Would I be able to get a job after my time in Asia? What would employers think about my decision? Would travel/study abroad live up to my expectations? Even after I was given the option to return to my employer in Singapore post-sabbatical, I still couldn’t believe I had made such a big decision.

November:
Frenetic. Despite no longer working, November was an incredibly busy month. No time to think about my decision. It was time to execute. The two weeks leading up to Taiwan were crazy. I studied for, and took the GREs. Packed for Taiwan and shipped the rest back to LA. Worked on Generation Enterprise stuff, a non-profit that I began volunteering for remotely back in October. Said many, many goodbyes. Went hiking two weekends in a row around the DC area. Even after arriving in Taiwan, the scramble continued to find suitable housing.

December:
Anew. I was worried that coming during the holiday season was going to be a little depressing, but this past month has been far from it. It did take some time getting used to being a student again, and I contemplated (and am still contemplating) on whether to sign on for another term beginning in March, but I am relishing in the fact that I am living abroad once again. Meeting new people, experiencing new things, going to new places, it’s been a fantastic experience!

When Grades Don’t Matter

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Today marked the end of my second week of language class at National Taiwan University. It feels weird being a student once again. I’ve studied abroad before in both Tokyo and Shanghai, but this time is different since the grades are just that – an indicator of progress. They’re not going to be transferred to my home uni or looked over by grad school admissions.

I chose to come to come to Taiwan for a number of reasons:

  • to learn traditional characters
  • to get a different perspective of cross-strait relations
  • to climb some mountains
  • to visit the beaches
  • to use the island as a base for traveling throughout Asia
  • to increase my fluency in speaking, listening, and reading Chinese

Given that the grades I receive are only self-serving, I’ve found it a little hard to not lose sight of my main goal. When I told my school’s program director of my short-term goals of passing the proficiency test, she pretty much laughed and told me that if that’s my goal, I really don’t need to be in Taiwan (or Mainland China) to pass the test. This was de-motivating to say the least, but only for a moment.

I considered dropping out, but realized, why quit so soon? Its been a personal-goal of mine to be fluent in another language. Why I chose to stick with Chinese, and not go for an easier language, I don’t know. I had come so far, how could I let a little blip ruin what I’ve planned? Improving language skills, like every other skill, really comes down to self-motivation. So to keep me motivated with my language study, I created a study-plan that I hope will help me get the most out of my stay here. Sure, it might not help me achieve my goal to be business proficient, but at least it’ll provide some structure to learning this incredibly hard language.