How I Spent My Paternity Leave

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Towards the end of last year, through the miracle of modern science and our wonderful surrogate, my husband and I welcomed our first child into this world. Becoming a parent has always been something that I’ve wanted to experience, and the last six months have been certainly the most life-changing chapter of my life.

I had exactly 167 days of leave, which was the longest period I’ve ever had without being in an office/work environment since finishing college in 2010. I’ll preface everything by saying that I had no idea what to expect besides sleep deprivation, and doing anything as a new parent would not have been possible without the following:

  • working for a company that offered 18 weeks of paid leave
  • taking an additional 4 weeks off work without pay
  • starting daycare when our son was 15 weeks old
  • having my mom and mom-in-law available to help with child care
  • being intentional about how I wanted to spend my time

What I would recommend for those thinking about what to do while on paternity leave:

  • Be realistic about what you can feasibly do. As a first time parent, I had no idea what to expect, other than sleep deprivation.
  • Create structure in your day. Without having a job to go to, I found myself feeling untethered, which felt problematic. For me, French classes and my workout schedule helped ground me.
  • Take it easy. This time is for bonding and for figuring out all things parenting. Anything else is truly extra.

For privacy sake, I’ll spare the photos of my little one.

Without further ado, my leave by the numbers…

  • Hikes: 15
  • Wine Tastings: 7
  • Architecture Tours: 5
  • Trains/Planes/Ferries Taken: 9
  • Books Read: 7
  • Classes Taken: 2(ish)
  • Museums Visited: 21
  • Races Ran: 1

Hiking Adventures (15 hikes)

Bayview Trail (Treasure Island)
American River Trail (Sacramento)
Wildcat Canyon Park (El Cerrito)
Mt Wanda Trail (Martinez)
UC Davis Arboretum Trail (Davis)
Robert Dollar Drive Trail (San Rafael)
Tennessee Valley Trail (Mill Valley)
Lake Chabot Loop (Castro Valley)
Pedro Point Loop (Pacifica)
Coyote Hills Bayview Loop (Fremont)
Stevens Creek Trail (Mountain View)
Cabrillo Point Bayview Trail (San Diego)
West Cliff Drive & Natural Bridges Trail (Santa Cruz)
Nimitz Way (Berkeley)
Muir Woods to Mt Tam (Mill Valley)

Wine Tasting (7 tastings)

Novelty Hill (Woodinville)
Hall Wineries (St Helena)
Quivira Vineyards (Healdsburg)
Opus One Winery (Oakville)
Chateau Montelena (Calistoga)
Donum Estate (Carneros)
Stag’s Leap Wine Cellars (Napa)

Architecture Tours (5 buildings)

San Francisco City Hall
Frank Lloyd Wright’s Marin County Civic Center (San Rafael)
Frank Lloyd Wright’s Hollyhock House (Pasadena)

Trains, Planes & Ferries (9 journeys)

SF Ferry rides to 1/ Vallejo, 2/ Sausalito, 3/ Richmond, 4/ Angel Island
Amtrak California to Sacramento
Day trip to Pasadena
Day trip to Portland
Day trip to San Diego
Weeklong visit to Puerto Vallarta with my in-laws!

Books Read (7):

Reading about U.S. zoning laws on my commute to San Jose
  • Bringing Up Bebe by Pamela Druckerman (October) 
  • The Deepest South of All, Richard Grant (November) 
  • The Amur River, Colin Thubron (November) 
  • Sovietistan, Erika Fartland (December)
  • High, Erika Fartland (January) 
  • America’s Frozen Neighborhoods, Robert Ellickson (February)  
  • Wounded Tigris, Leon McCarron (March)

Classes Taken (2)

I’m considering a potential career change into urban planning, and enrolled in a 15 week on-site course as an open university student at San Jose State. I’m halfway through the semester and have learned a ton!

Real Estate Finance class during Spring 2025 semester at San Jose State

In addition to urban planning studies, I continued to work on my French. My goal with French is to be able to communicate at a basic level, especially at wineries and restaurants, while in France or other Francophone countries. I took about 60+ hours of classes between Nov ’24 – Feb ’25.

My most recent babbel classes.

Museums Visited (21)

Around the Bay Area and beyond I visited 21 different museums, I’ll spare the photos for all of them, but the top highlights were the three NPS sites located nearby:

  • Angel Island Immigration Museum
  • Rosie the Riveter National Historic Site
  • Fort Point National Historic Site
view of the Golden Gate atop Fort Point

Races Ran (1)

I completed the San Francisco Half-Marathon back in February. This was the first time I’ve ever ran a race in the rain. I absolutely never do another race in the rain ever agin. Despite the heavy rains, I set a new PR: 2 hours, 1min and 30 seconds!

At the finish line!!

Reflection

I still can’t believe I spent nearly the last six months being out of office. It truly was a memorable experience and am forever grateful for this time. That being said, I am eagerly looking forward to getting back to work and seeing what this next stage of my life will look like, as a working parent!

2024 Year in Review and 2025 Goals

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This year has been such a whirlwind of a year. Without a doubt the highlight of the year was becoming a parent. We welcomed our little one in October! We are definitely still very early in this next chapter of our lives, but it’s been the most meaningful experience of my life. Without a doubt the top three highlights this year for me were:

  • welcoming our baby to the world
  • paragliding in Queenstown NZ
  • seeing Machu Picchu

Before our little one arrived however, I made sure to make use of any holiday or work-from-anywhere weeks to visit new places. Let’s go!

Travel:

70,240 miles flown, 11 countries visited (5 new to me!) 

My flight map for 2024!

January – New Zealand / Fiji

Paragliding down Coronet Peak on New Years Day 2024, the beginning of an incredible year!
Coffee tasting at Bula Coffee in Sigatoka, Fiji

February – San Diego / Lake Tahoe 

Snowshoeing for the first time at Lake Tahoe!

March – Puerto Vallarta

Chocolate tour and tasting in Puerto Vallarta!

April – Mexico City 

Visiting the Frida Kahlo house before our friend’s wedding in Mexico City!

May – Lima / Cusco / Panama City 

Checking out the restaurant scene in Lima, Peru!
Exploring Machu Picchu!!
Wandering around Panama City’s Casco Viejo neighborhood

June – Guatemala

Exploring the colonial town of Antigua, Guatemala

July – Boston / New York / Seattle / Santiago / Mendoza 

Friend’s wedding in Boston!
Remote working in the Hudson Valley, New York
Kayaking around Puget Sound near Gig Harbor
Experiencing Santiago de Chile’s dining scene at restaurant Borrago!!
Sipping Malbec and discovering Argentina’s Wine Region around Mendoza

August – Cairo / Luxor 

Wandering around the Pyramids of Giza!!
Learning all about Ancient Egypt in Luxor

September – Athens / Cannes / Barcelona 

Exploring the ruins around the Acropolis in Athens!
Celebrating my dear friend’s wedding in the Cote d’Azur!!
Walked around the Sagrada Familia in Barcelona

October – Seattle 

Leaving the Residence Inn after our 10-night stay, following the birth of our
kid via surrogacy!

December – Puerto Vallarta  

Exploring the Riviera Nayarit around Puerto Vallarta

Intellectual Curiosity: 

Books:

I read 8 books this year that spanned my interests in real estate, becoming a parent and travel. Hope to read more on all these topics in the coming year!

  • Fragile Neighborhoods by Seth Kaplan (Jan) 
  • Arbitrary Lines by Nolan Gray (Jan)
  • Containing big tech by Tom Kemp (June)
  • Crib Sheet by Emily Oster (September)
  • Bringing Up Bebe by Pamela Druckerman (October) 
  • The Deepest South of All, Richard Grant (November) 
  • The Amur River, Colin Thubron (November) 
  • Sovietistan, Erika Fartland (December)
Reading about the consequences of how technology impacts our lives, at the Starbucks in Antigua Guatemala!

Languages: 

48 – hours of French group classes taken 

Over the past few years I’ve taken language classes for fun, primarily French and German through the Global Language Network in DC.

I’ve wanted to become at least conversationally fluent in French for years, primarily for future travel throughout France and it’s former colonies (Senegal, Madagascar, New Caledonia, French Polynesia, the Maghreb countries of Morocco, Algeria and Tunisia). This year, I’ve taken almost 50 hours, and hope to continue this habit and do more in the new year!

View from an old fort in Antibes from earlier this summer. This was my 5th trip to France!

Wineries: 

13 – wineries visited

Most of my wineries visited happened during my trip down to Chile/Argentina earlier this year. Now that I’m a parent, I’m aiming to hopefully check out more wineries primarily in California in the new year.

  • Hammerling Wines, Berkeley CA (March)
  • Wente Vineyards, Livermore CA (June)
  • DeLille Vineyards, Woodinville WA (June)
  • Whitecliff Winery, Gardiner NY (July)
  • Concha Y Toro, Maipo Valley CL (July)
  • Vina Santa Rita, Maipo Valley CL (July)
  • Bodega Norton, Lujan de Cuyo AR (July)
  • Bodega Chandon, Lujan de Cuyo AR (July)
  • Catena Zapata, Lujan de Cuyo AR (July)
  • Bodega Andeluna, Valle de Uco AR (July)
  • Bodega Salentein, Valle de Uco AR (July)
  • Bodega Zuccardi, Maipu Valley AR (July)
  • Novelty Hill, Woodinville WA (October)
  • Hall Wines, Rutherford CA (November)
Quick day trip to Livermore earlier this summer to check out Wente!

Health & Fitness

In 2024, I diversified my fitness routine by doing more group classes, such as those offered at my work, or doing Barry’s classes with friends. In particular, after my annual physical indicated that I was prediabetic given my A1C levels, despite feeling healthy and trying to live an active lifestyle, I need to do more (such as focus on my diet) to maintain good health.

  • 518.5 – miles jogged, walked, hiked or ran 
  • 140 – running sessions completed
  • 127 – strength training sessions completed
  • 6 – yoga classes completed 
  • 26 – Barry’s classes completed 
  • 12 – cycling classes completed 
  • 15 – trails hiked totaling 57.4 miles 
  • 6.1 – my A1C level, which indicates I’m prediabetic (!) 
Starting my birthday with a morning class at Barry’s FiDi SF!

Spirituality & Religion 

The highlight for me this year was starting to attend services at Grace Cathedral, an Episcopalian Church, in San Francisco. I made the decision to start exploring other denominations after the birth of my child — I couldn’t in good conscience feel comfortable with raising my kid around doctrine that wasn’t supportive of who I am as a person. It’s been such a welcoming community and I plan to continue in the new year!

At the same time, early on my partner and I decided that we would raise our kid Jewish. It’s been an ongoing process figuring out what it means to be an interfaith family, and my favorite highlight would be lighting Shabbat candles on Fridays. In the new year, we will continue to figure out what being an interfaith family actually looks like and what it means!

  • 17 – visits to Sunday mass/services
  • 2 – kol nidre & pride shabbat
First time attending Grace Cathedral for Sunday services, in early November! My first time ever attending a non-Catholic mass/service

2025 Goals: 

As a new parent, for 2025 I am definitely resetting my expectations in terms of what’s achievable, especially when it comes to travelling. In many ways, my life priorities have shifted. I’d much rather be at home figuring out how to be a parent, with all the conveniences and community of friends we have in the Bay Area, rather than trying to figure it out on the road. Here’s to another year around the sun!

  • Reduce a1c so I’m not prediabetic!! 
  • 100 – hours of language lessons 
  • 150 – sessions of strength training 
  • 520 – miles ran 
  • 12 – books read 
  • 12 – hikes completed 
  • 100 – miles cycled 
  • 12 – wineries visited

2023 Year in Review and 2024 Goals

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What an incredible year it’s been – definitely one to remember for the rest of my life. To summarize, here’s how it went: 

I got married. In September, I married my partner of 5+ years, Michael.  We celebrated over the Labor Day weekend this past year, and without a doubt it was such a surreal and incredibly memorable life event. 

Wedding Day!!

I bought a condo in San Francisco. In March, Michael and I closed on our first real estate purchase: a 2bd/2ba condo in San Francisco. I would’ve never expected to be able to buy a place, but we did it! 

Our condo in San Francisco!

I read four books. 

  • Life on the Mississippi: An Epic Adventure by Rinker Buck (Feb 2023)
  • Poverty, by America by Matthew Desmond (Nov 2023)
  • The Next American City by Mick Cornett (Dec 2023)
  • The Injustice of Place by Luke Schaefer and Kathryn Edin (Dec 2023)

Maintained a health-conscious lifestyle. Had 146 running/walking sessions that totaled 450+ miles. PR’d my 5k time: 25:56min at the Claremont Turkey Trot. Completed 69 strength training sessions. Hiked 23 trails totaling 88+ miles.

Claremont Turkey Trot 2023

Flew 70k+ miles in ‘23. Between my employer’s work from anywhere policy, I managed to travel and visit so many places in one year. 

All the flights I took in 2023, totaling 70,131 miles flown.
  • Florida – Sarasota and St. Petersburg
First sunset of the year from Siesta Key
  • New Orleans 
Having a delicious dinner at Couchon in New Orleans in January
  • Israel – Galilee, Jerusalem and Tel Aviv
Walking around and touching the waters at the Sea of Galilee in February
  • South Korea and Japan – Seoul, Tokyo and Kyoto
Walking around Myeongdong District in Seoul in March
Admiring the beautiful cherry blossoms in Tokyo at the Shinjuku National Garden in April
Sake tasting in Kyoto in April
  • Texas – Houston and San Antonio
Visiting Houston (for the first time!) to see family in May
  • Alaska – Kenai Peninsula, Denali National Park, Anchorage
Evening hike at Exit Glacier Trail in Kenai National Park in June
  • Michigan – Detroit and Ann Arbor
Checking out the Smith House, a Frank Lloyd Wright Home, outside of Detroit in September
  • France – Nouvelle Aquitaine (Bordeaux, St. Emillion, Medoc)
Wine tasting in Sauternes in October!
  • Mexico – Playa del Carmen 

Making pottery during a long weekend visit to Xcaret Arte in Playa del Carmen in October
  • New Zealand – Auckland, Rotorua, Wellington, Christchurch, Marlborough, Queenstown
Biking the Alps2Ocean Bike Trail from Tekapo to Twizel in New Zealand in December!

GOALS for 2024:

It’s hard to believe that I’ve been keeping this blog for over 10+ years, and from a goal perspective, at this point many of my goals remain the same. They’re all related to health, travel and knowledge, and the more I can spend time doing these activities (in addition to my day job), the better!

Here’s a summary of my goals’ stats from this past year, and what I can benchmark against for 2024.

  • Hiking – completed 23 hikes totaling 88.7 miles in ‘23
  • Walking/Running – 146 sessions in ‘23
  • Reading – read 4 books in 2023
  • Weight Lifting – 69 sessions in ‘23
  • Wine Tasting – 27 wineries in 5 regions tasted in ‘23
  • Biking – 145 bike trips on BayWheels in ’23
  • Complete a wine class
  • Complete a language class

Here’s to another year around the sun!

2022 Year in Review and 2023 Goals

Hiking at Mission Peak
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Another 365 days have come and gone! A lot happened this year. Here’s how 2022 went. 

What happened?

Moved from Startup Life to Big Tech 

Sunset view from Google’s NYC Office

I made 2 years at Patreon back in January, but began a new role at Google in February. Going from startup life to working at a big tech company has been a huge change for a variety of reasons, mostly around navigating the intricacies of working for such a huge organization. Thankfully, through helpful peers and colleagues I believe I’ve done a good job at surviving – perhaps even thriving – in my new role. 

Hiked the Bay Area 

View from Mission Peak, near Fremont, CA

One of the best things I enjoy about living in the San Francisco Bay Area are the endless amounts of trails just a short drive away from home. Over the past year, I visited and hiked at more than 15+ different county and state parks across the region. A handful of my favorites include the Windy Hill Open Space Preserve, and Black Diamond Mine Regional Park. I also can’t forget that I got engaged to my partner while on a hike at Sunol Regional Park! 

Continued exploring 

Morning run with a view in Florence, Italy

With covid slowly ending, this year marked a fair bit of traveling, though primarily domestic. All told, I visited 2 new national parks (Redwood and Yosemite National Parks in California), 3 new countries (Italy, Hungary, Slovakia), and re-visited a few additional places (2 trips to Florida, 2 trips to DC, 2 trips to Hawaii, 2 trips to Mexico, and 3 trips to NYC). 

Enrolled in French language classes 

Attempting to use my French during our layover in Nice, France in September

For a solid two months earlier this year (March/April), I attended 15+ one-hour long French language classes, where I was forced to speak French with my tutors through a website called Lingoda. Of all the methods in which I’ve tried learning a new language (i.e. reading and watching the news or travel vlogs in the language), without a doubt speaking the language has been the most beneficial in terms of memory recall. 

Started lifting weights regularly again 

Weight room at Google’s P-57 office.

Throughout the year I’ve maintained my habit of walking 30-45 minutes, 5-7 times a week. However, this year made it clear that walking will help stave off weight gain. Because of the (1) free food and drink that Google offers, (2) being relatively sick for two months this year, and (3) honestly being a little lazy, over the past year I’ve gained nearly 10 pounds (!) Knowing that we have a wedding coming up and that things are finally opening back up in San Francisco, since November I’ve finally begun to lift weights again

Finished another wine course

Tasting a flight of white wines during my WSET Level 3 Course with Grape Experience SF.

In the Summer and Fall I enrolled in a 15 week wine course that covered wines from around the world. This class built on top of the course I completed in 2020/2021. I haven’t yet taken the corresponding exam for the course, but determined that for my given use case –  that learning about wine is primarily a hobby – there is no pressure or need for me to take and pass the exam. That being said, I’m actively looking at other wine-related courses/programs to enroll in to deepen my knowledge of wine!

Completed reading 9 books

Reading while enjoying a margarita by the pool at Hotel Xcaret Arte in October.

At the beginning of the year, I set a goal to read 10 books. While I didn’t complete 10, I learned about so many new things, including racial identity, affordable housing and water rights on the Colorado. Here’s what I read this year, and when I completed the book: 

  • Where the Water Goes by David Owen (Dec 2022)
  • The Latinos of Asia by Anthony Ocampo (Nov 2022) 
  • We Have Been Harmonized by Kai Strittmatter (Oct 2022) 
  • No Escape by Nury Turkel (Oct 2022) 
  • Asian American Histories in the United States by Catherine Ceniza Choy (Sep 2022)
  • The Raging 2020s by Alec Ross (Sep 2022) 
  • A History of the Philippines by Luis Francia (Sep 2022)
  • The Sum of Us by Heather McGee (Mar 2022) 
  • Golden Gates by Conor Dougherty (Feb 2022) 

I also started on 3 additional books this year, but have not completed them yet:

  • Like, Comment, Subscribe by Mark Bergen 
  • Life on Mississippi by Rinker Buck 
  • Where Great Powers Meet by David Shambaugh 

Enrolled in a Judaism 101 course. 

Picking up some Challah Bread for Rosh Hashanah

My partner is Jewish, and it was a very important thing for me to learn more about Jewish traditions, especially as we start to think about how we become an interfaith family. We joined a synagogue, temple Emanu-El in San Francisco, and overall I’ve found the classes and corresponding readings super helpful! 

What didn’t happen?

Eating meatless once a week

Typical meatless breakfast at the office: pastries with fruit and yogurt!

One of the benefits of working at Google are the free meals that we have available. Unfortunately I did not actively track how often I ate vegetarian/vegan. 

Running a half-marathon

A race along the Embarcadero that I randomly saw while waiting for the train.

Although I signed up for two half marathons (the Berkeley Half and Golden Gate Half), I ended up not doing either. However, I did run a 5k in November, and hit a new PR (25:54 min / 8:20 min per mile). In the new year, I’m hoping to perhaps do 5 or 10ks, instead of signing up for, but not completing, half-marathons. 

Diversifying into real estate – Between the insane inflation this year and the corresponding interest rate hikes, although I wanted to purchase my first property this year, this goal just did not happen. While I’m not currently interested in purchasing a property anytime soon, I’m still continuing to explore options to diversify my portfolio, such as investing in REITs instead. 

Goals for the new year:

  • Run 10 miles each week
  • Strength train once a week 
  • Hike one new trail each month
  • Read 1 new book a month
  • Visit 3 new countries
  • Complete 1 new wine course 
  • Complete 20 hours of language classes 

I’ll hopefully post more later on my travels over the past year, but for now, that’s a wrap. Looking forward to another fun year around the sun!